Ah the kindness of strangers

Sorry blog readers, I wrote this on the 30th of July but thru a computer glitch or my own ineptitude, it never made it up.

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Well, where to start... I suppose it is fitting that Amy began and finished her trip to Buenos Aires with vomiting. Unfortunately for her the second fit was much much longer. After a morning praying to the porcelain god, Amy and I checked out with our landlord and headed to our spa appointment. She felt a little better and made it through a facial and halfway through a massage before her body turned on her. Concerned about the spa guest chucking uncontrollably in their bathroom, the spa called paramedics which diagnosed Amy with a bad dose of "tendor libre" or food poisoning from an all-you-can-eat joint. Two painful injections later we are concerned about getting to the airport on-time. The kind receptionist informed us that an ambulance ride to the airport is 90 pesos and a taxi 60-70. So we are talking about a difference of $7-10. Sold.

We hauled all our bags to the ambulance, I took the passenger seat, Amy the gurney in the back. With sirens blaring we hauled ass through rush-hour in Buenos Aires. We nearly collided with city buses and taxis, passed through tolls booths uninhibited and got to the airport in less than 30 minutes; it should have taken over 45.

Luckily the injections did the trick for Amy and once we got the airport she was fine, a little groggy and confused but at least she kept everything inside.

An ambulance ride and two planes later....

I'll give Bri the pleasure of telling the story of how we got to the airport in Buenos Aires. I'm sitting in the plane at Sky Harbor, in the last row, waiting for too many people to grab their carry-on luggage from the overhead bins.

Thanks to some unknown substance injected into me by Argentine paramedics, I slept like a baby through my two flights.

It's good to be home.

Leaving on a jet plane

As Bri said, we're heading home tonight. I will see one of you tomorrow morning, and everyone else once I am human again.

Thank you to all of our loyal blog readers. Having all of you along on the journey made it even more wonderful of an experience.

Somos triste. Hoy vamos a volver a Estados Unidos.

Today is the last day of our trip. So sad. Later we will be going to the spa for a relaxing and cheap massage and facial. I hope it will help me not get pissed off at the airport, which I invariably do. But Homeland Security isn't running this charade, so at least I can keep my shoes and socks on and don't have to put all my liquids in a 1 QT plastic bag.

Last night I completed the last item on my list of things that I had to do here. It was dance all night with the Argentines. Though we were with a big group, Amy and I got separated and since she was much much more inebriated than I, I felt responsible for making sure she didn't die. I looked for her a lot which meant I circled the club at least six times. Though I had heard of the aggressiveness of the portenos, I really hadn't figured on their persistence. Everyone wants a kiss, even if you've never even heard their name yet. One guy I passed I said "no" to the first time. The second time he grabbed my hand as I passed. The third time he grabbed my arm and actually pulled me backwards towards him. The fourth time I said "fuck off." That apparently translates well to all languages. Other various men grabbed my ass at least five times, grabbed my hand at least a dozen times, groped my arm or back oh, let's say eight times, but really who is counting? One man was successful in actually kissing my hand. Luckily I don't speak enough Spanish to understand what I'm sure were the vulgar or desperate come-ons. So ladies if you need a date IMMEDIATELY, I suggest flying to Argentina. The boys were at least cute, but be prepared to put out before you hit the dance floor.

Graduation Day

I am now a TEFL certificate holder, and am qualified to teach English as a Foreign Language. Congratulate me, I earned it.

Operation Monkey Watch: Status FAILED

I'm back in the hustle and bustle of Buenos Aires. Sadly I will have to go to the pet store to see the monkeys that were promised to me. Even the hotel warned against monkeys. I even went on a backcountry trail that promised wildlife sightings. But no monkeys. Apparently they aren't out much in winter. I did see more toucans though and you can actually see them in the pictures, well they are a bit small. And some capybara. I lied yesterday about seeing nutria (or this morning? whatever, last post). I thought they were the same as the water rodents in BA, but I saw capybara. No pics though, but there is one from Google.

More falls before the crowds woke up.

What we're leaving behind.

Not all things in Buenos Aires are Argentine: some are Brazilian.

Dios Mio

Iguazu is breathtaking. Everyone come here. Everyone take a plane, skip the 18-hour bus ride. Everyone pay way too much to stay at the Sheraton. Don't scrimp on this trip. Save your pennies. Drink cheaper beer. It's worth it. Here are some reasons why:

• When you get a new plate at the breakfast buffet, the waiters replace your silverware with new pieces. At dinner you get a complimentary caipinrihna of which the first sip makes you choke because it's so loaded with booze.
• You get the experience the park with no one around. I didn't see a soul for the first hour I was walking the trails.
• Even if you don't pay for the waterfall view rooms, there is a terrace at the top of the building that lets you see ALL the falls. Most vantage points within the park only let you see one set at a time.
• You can see lots and lots of wildlife. I saw hundreds of green parrots, eagles, egrets, herons, hawks, coati, nutria (like miniature ROUSes), and TWO cayman. (Julie - I thought of you and the "fucking gators.")
  
  It's amazing to me that the rainbows showed up so well in the photos.

This was trip one to the "Devil's Throat." I went in the early morning and the late afternoon to get different light.
This is the "Devil's Throat" from far away.

And in the afternoon for the rainbows.

That´s a vulture warming up his wings in the early morning sun.

This view would not happen one hour later, too many tourists.

Parrots as far as the eye could see. I saw some toucans too but the pictures suck. Strangely enough I recognized one flying because it looked exactly like the Guinness ads.

Simply amazing.

Monkeys

Monkeys shouldn't be in cages; they should be in my apartment.

Pet Monkeys: They can be yours!

Animal rights activists please skip this post. Don't comment, in fact, don't even read it, please.

Walking back to school on my lunch break today, I saw the pet shop that I see all the time. Today, I'm feeling a bit lonely, and went inside to stare at cute, cuddly things.

I hit the warm fuzzy feeling jackpot: they had monkeys for sale! Two adorable, little monkeys with tiny fingers and long tails. I don't know what kind they were, but they were the tiniest, cutest things I've ever seen up close. I hung out with the monkeys for a while, then went back to class feeling even better than I expected.

Now I just need to figure out how to sneak a monkey into an airplane...

Operation Keep Dry

First things first. I'm not dead. There was no bomb, but my flight was delayed almost 2 hours.

This is day one of my trip to Iguazu Falls. I splurged on an 1 1/2 hour plane ride instead of an 18-hour bus ride. Not only did I not want to sit on a bus longer than it took me to fly to Buenos Aires, but the view from the plane of the falls was enough to convince me that no one, however, poor should take the bus here. Even though we were descending and the fasten seat belt sign was on, EVERYONE was on their feet, leaning over strangers to catch a glimpse. It was amazing. And then I saw them from the ground. I walked into the lobby of my second splurge, the pricey Sheraton that is actually within the national park here. You can see the falls from the lobby. From that distance they are breathtaking. The next peak I got of them was from the water. I got the last ticket for the last river tour of the day thanks to a very sweet taxi driver who kept talking to me in English even though I told him I wanted to practice my espanol.

I wore my lightest clothes, skipped socks, and headed down to the meeting point. Everyone was wearing ponchos but I thought "what's a little water." Luckily I stole a used poncho out of the trash when other groups were exiting because I was sitting on the right side of the boat which was the closest to the falls. Between the spray from the falls and all the water on my glasses, I couldn't see a thing, but it was still exciting.

And the boats get closer than this.


I can't fix the position of this photo on this bare-bones Windows machine in the hotel lobby. I'm a bit soaked.

This was from the walk back to the hotel.

Bomb Scares Let You Know We're Safe

Bri is heading off to Iguazu Falls today, one of the most beautiful places in the world, on the Brazillian border. For those of you who knew that, and knew she was flying, don't worry if you hear something about a bomb scare at a Buenos Aires airport. First of all, she's flying from the domestic airport, which is far from the international one where the "bomb" is. Secondly, though Buenos Aires is a big city (a population 6 million in the city, 12 million if you include the suburbs), it's so safe that tiny things make big news.

I've been watching the news for about ten minutes since Bri left, and all 6 news shows here have been showing the same thing: someone left a bag in one of those luggage carts. No phone calls or letters about any threat. It could very well be a bag of souvenirs accidentally left by a tourist, but they take safety very seriously around here, to the point of being an inconvenience, such as when you have to be buzzed in to a clothing store, or the fact that you have to use keys even to get out of buildings.

La Boca

We went to La Boca. It's a little neighborhood in BA that likes to paint.

Feliz dia del amigo

I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in a while. My cold is two days behind Bri's cold. That means I'll be fully myself again tomorrow.

Not only am I feeling better, but today is Friends' Day in Argentina, so everyone is a bit more celebratory. Stepping out onto the streets of Buenos Aires this morning was like walking onto the set of a musical, without the singing and dancing. I was happy, lively, and caffeinated; I was met with an "hola" and a "buenos dias" by the first person I saw outside the apartment, by the policeman on the corner, by a streetsweeper, and by the doorman in my school's building. People here are so kind and friendly, the architecture is gorgeous, everything in the bakeries is always fresh, the dogs are well-mannered, and the nightlife is supposed to be fantastic.

The only things Buenos Aires is missing are: everyone I love and good Mexican food. Happy Friends' Day todos mis amigos!

p.s. Send enchiladas.

Dancing Puppet at a Street Fair

Bri and I went to a street fair. This marionette was my favorite part of the fair.

Empanada Making

If you want to learn how to make an empanada, watch this video. Then, invite me over for dinner.

Video from Tierra Santa

Tornado of Sand

So Amy and I are watching the news this morning in Spanish, like we do every morning. Then we see a giant wall of dust and hear the words "Phoenix en Estados Unidos." The byline translates to "Tornado of Sand." Apparently a recent dust storm in PHX made the international news. We saw the 101 and Camelback Mountain partly obscured by dust. Once again we are glad to be missing at least part of the monsoon season.

Uruguay in 36 hours

Amy and I took a boat much like this one to Colonia del Sacramento, Uruguay. Thankfully, Amy only got a little nauseous. We played "Vas Pescado" aka "Go Fish." We're pretty sure the Spanish is terrible but it was fun to play in Spanish, except when Amy cheated and pretended she heard "seis" instead of "cinco." My pronunciation isn't THAT bad.

The boat was fairly safe, we got to watch a brief movie about taking off your shoes before jumping into the life boats. But this safety sign has us puzzled. There are people in arrows walking into other people. What does it mean?

After docking in Colonia we went through customs, which closely resembled a cattle drive. Hundreds of people shoved through two doors, past two customs officials who gave no directions what so ever as to what to do. We got through alive and then walked to our B&B. A bit stressed out, we were relieved to see that it was the cutest place ever. It is one block from the river, filled with light, the absolute definition of charming.

Our room had two floors with two twin beds. Amy quickly claimed top bunk. I think because it would be easier to throw pillows at me when I snored. I have a terrible cold, so I sound like a barking seal during the day and a freight train at night.

After settling in a bit and finding some comida, we went on a brief tour of the town. Outside the city is a dilapidated bull ring. Some rich guy built it (badly of course) to appease Spanish immigrants that missed bull fighting. There were exactly three bullfights before it started falling apart and Uruguay banned bullfighting.

The tour then proceeded on foot through the streets of Colonia. As Amy said it, it's "fucking charming." Beautiful old buildings, gorgeous trees, and since it's on a small peninsula, views of water in three directions.

I wouldn't recommend driving on the streets though. They are either Spanish or Portuguese style. The Portuguese cobblestone streets are concave to let water flow and the Spanish, convex. They also used different sized rocks. The Spanish is on the bottom here and the Portuguese on top. Normal tires should do fine, but we saw one rich Argentine and his plasticized wife driving a Ferrari through town. His low-profile tires didn't really like the streets and he was driving about 4 mph. You could tell he was worried about hitting his under carriage on the higher profile streets.

Now of course charming doesn't mean anything if there are cars everywhere. But in Colonia, they still cart goods with the tried-and-true horse.

After our tour, Amy and I headed to the riverfront. The Rio de la Plata is the second-widest river in the world, second only to the Amazon. The unbelievable cuteness of the town, the gorgeous beach, and the sunset gave Amy and I the distinct feeling that we were on our honeymoon. It's too bad that we didn't have our sweeties to share it with us. Hopefully our second honeymoons will be just as nice.


We went out to dinner at The Drugstore, which was decorated a bit like if Red Robin and Martha Stewart had a bastard love-child. The food was fantastic and cheap. Our waiter was a bit "sweet" on us, as Amy said. I didn't really believe her. The place was nearly empty because we were eating so early and I just thought he was friendly and wanted to practice English. But she was right because as we were leaving we got an invite out for drinks when he got off work at 1 am. But we have boyfriends, had NO idea what bar he wanted us to meet him at, and were super-super tired, so we missed our once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to date a Uruguayan. Oh well, life is full of disappointment.


The next day, we dined on medialunas (croissants but SO much better) y dulce de leche y jugo de naranja. I will state for the record that I have been known to choke on any pulp in orange juice and once created my own sieve a la McGuyver to filter the nasty-ass pulpy orange juice provided by some Sheraton or Radisson in Orlando. South America has changed my perspective on orange juice completely. They squeeze actual oranges here; even the OJ that comes in cardboard containers at the grocery store far surpasses any "Florida Natural" at Safeway. I fear I will never be able to drink orange juice again unless I plant an orange tree in my yard and press those things myself.

But I digress, after breakfast we walked around town snapping pictures and buying gifts, then headed to the lighthouse. If you look very closely, I'm the red dot on top. The lighthouse was built on the ruins of an old convent that was destroyed during some war in Colonia. It seems that everyone has taken over Uruguay at some point - Spain, Portugal, France, even the US (though I have no idea when or why).



From the top of the lighthouse you can see all of Colonia, which is is about 60 square blocks. It was fun to say "we are going across town" when it really would take you three minutes to walk there.

Back on the ground, Amy was missing home. I don't think she regularly kisses cacti in Arizona, but this one made her long for home.

Knowing that it is 110 degrees in Arizona, I only longed for carne and a good beer. Well the carne was taken care of at a nearby parilla. I had beer, but would I say it was "good?" It wasn't awful, but truly is Uruguay known for it's beer? I think not. Amy and I got a pile of meat, some salads, some grilled cheese (quite literally, not with bread and tomato soup), what can only be described as fried mashed potato balls (oh so delicious, I'm going to figure out how to make them), and flan with dulce de leche for approximately $20 USD. Carnivores - ready to move to South America yet?

After stuffing ourselves senseless, we got our bags at the B&B and walked back to the boat terminal.


Back at the terminal we noticed a sign about dengue fever. We even got dengue fever stamps when we sent postcards. They look just like this sign. Strange but true.

We got back to Buenos Aires safe and sound and we are four passport stamps richer.

Yerba Mate or Gross Latte?

Argentine's are a pretty normal bunch but they do have one strange habit, drinking yerba mate (mah-tay) all day, every day. You can see them on the streets with a special cup or gourd stuffed to the brim with a green herb soaked in hot water, sipping from a silver straw. They carry around a thermos with hot water so they can refill their mate anytime. They even sell special mate carrying bags, which you might see at REI if American's drank mate.

Amy and I bought a little disposable mate set at the grocery store and tried it Saturday morning. I won't tell you how I felt about it, but I will say, I don't normally look like that.

Syrian in Buenos Aires

Amy and I decided to go out for dinner tonight. We walked for a long time past empty restaurants. No one eats before nine here and most don't dine until 10. We passed Italian places, French places, parillas, the Hard Rock Cafe... After 30 minutes of walking we decide to head back down our street and hit the Italian place near our apartment. But then we saw a beautiful building with Corinthian columns and cherubim over the entrances. It had a menu for a Middle Eastern buffet for approximately $12 USD. Bingo! We went inside and found ourselves in a giant marble foyer that looked more like an embassy than a cheap buffet. "Donde el restaurante?" to the guard got us an "tienen un reservacion?" Oh shit, no. But she called the restaurant and secured a table for us no problemo. Then she put us on the scariest elevator in the world and said "segundo piso." The 40 feet travelled were some of the creepiest moments of my life. Instead of a scissor door like most elevators here, this one had real wooden doors on the exterior. I can't really explain any better than that, but suffice it to say both Amy and I were seriously creeped out. Luckily when we landed on the second floor we found a fantastic Middle Eastern buffet. We ordered a bottle of Semillon and headed to the cold buffet. Then we ordered piles of hot plates to be delivered to us. We ate WAY WAY WAY too much. I'm pretty sure I'll still be digesting dinner at breakfast time tomorrow. We took the stairs back down to the street. The rest of the building was palatial, gorgeous marble, giant chandeliers. Not bad for a $12 buffet.

Vamos a viajar a Uraguay

Amy and I bought our tickets to Uraguay today. That means four more stamps on our passports and Amy blowing a few more chunks. We have to take an hour-long boat ride there; hopefully Amy will only feel nauseous and not actually relive day one in Buenos Aires. I've never actually thrown up on a boat. I've wanted to, desperately wanted to, but that boat was much much smaller than the luxury ferry that is taking us to Uraguay. And I believe the passage across the Strait of Juan de Fuca took much, much longer. I really miss the water in Seattle. Tempe Town Lake really doesn't count as a lake and I'm sorry, the "Scottsdale Waterfront" overlooks a polluted, man-made canal.

I think I might need to move to Buenos Aires. It meets most of my criteria for potential cities of residence. It has a mild climate, it is on the ocean, it has cheap and efficient public transportation, the people are incredibly nice, you can eat giant steaks for a few dollars, and it has improv. What's not to love?

And all was black

Yesterday we bought the fixins for chili. We were both craving hot soup because of the cold weather. Sadly we got home and discovered we didn't have a can opener. It kinda makes it hard to make chili when everything except the meat is in a can. So I ate microwave popcorn that came in a flat popcorn bucket. And Amy ate cereal. But today we were determined to buy a can opener and make chili. Fate though would not have it.

The cold, the snow, or some car crash we don't know about caused a big blackout for about 5 or 6 hours. We went to the store the buy a can opener but couldn't find one. Then we realized we didn't really know what to ask for. So using the label on a can of mushrooms we figured out the proper noun for "can" and I did know the verb for "open." But sadly I'm chicken-shit when it comes to talking to people in stores, even in the States. So I'd rather just scour every aisle for hours than speak to someone. Amy though is more adventurous. I'm sure her Spanish was terrible, but we got the right directions. And of course the can opener was exactly where we looked the first time.

Can opener in hand, back at the house, the power is still out. So cooking chili doesn't seem very safe. We bust open some beer for dinner. Ummm... tasty. Now the power is back on and we can't really be bothered to cook. Maybe tomorrow.