Uruguay in 36 hours

Amy and I took a boat much like this one to Colonia del Sacramento, Uruguay. Thankfully, Amy only got a little nauseous. We played "Vas Pescado" aka "Go Fish." We're pretty sure the Spanish is terrible but it was fun to play in Spanish, except when Amy cheated and pretended she heard "seis" instead of "cinco." My pronunciation isn't THAT bad.

The boat was fairly safe, we got to watch a brief movie about taking off your shoes before jumping into the life boats. But this safety sign has us puzzled. There are people in arrows walking into other people. What does it mean?

After docking in Colonia we went through customs, which closely resembled a cattle drive. Hundreds of people shoved through two doors, past two customs officials who gave no directions what so ever as to what to do. We got through alive and then walked to our B&B. A bit stressed out, we were relieved to see that it was the cutest place ever. It is one block from the river, filled with light, the absolute definition of charming.

Our room had two floors with two twin beds. Amy quickly claimed top bunk. I think because it would be easier to throw pillows at me when I snored. I have a terrible cold, so I sound like a barking seal during the day and a freight train at night.

After settling in a bit and finding some comida, we went on a brief tour of the town. Outside the city is a dilapidated bull ring. Some rich guy built it (badly of course) to appease Spanish immigrants that missed bull fighting. There were exactly three bullfights before it started falling apart and Uruguay banned bullfighting.

The tour then proceeded on foot through the streets of Colonia. As Amy said it, it's "fucking charming." Beautiful old buildings, gorgeous trees, and since it's on a small peninsula, views of water in three directions.

I wouldn't recommend driving on the streets though. They are either Spanish or Portuguese style. The Portuguese cobblestone streets are concave to let water flow and the Spanish, convex. They also used different sized rocks. The Spanish is on the bottom here and the Portuguese on top. Normal tires should do fine, but we saw one rich Argentine and his plasticized wife driving a Ferrari through town. His low-profile tires didn't really like the streets and he was driving about 4 mph. You could tell he was worried about hitting his under carriage on the higher profile streets.

Now of course charming doesn't mean anything if there are cars everywhere. But in Colonia, they still cart goods with the tried-and-true horse.

After our tour, Amy and I headed to the riverfront. The Rio de la Plata is the second-widest river in the world, second only to the Amazon. The unbelievable cuteness of the town, the gorgeous beach, and the sunset gave Amy and I the distinct feeling that we were on our honeymoon. It's too bad that we didn't have our sweeties to share it with us. Hopefully our second honeymoons will be just as nice.


We went out to dinner at The Drugstore, which was decorated a bit like if Red Robin and Martha Stewart had a bastard love-child. The food was fantastic and cheap. Our waiter was a bit "sweet" on us, as Amy said. I didn't really believe her. The place was nearly empty because we were eating so early and I just thought he was friendly and wanted to practice English. But she was right because as we were leaving we got an invite out for drinks when he got off work at 1 am. But we have boyfriends, had NO idea what bar he wanted us to meet him at, and were super-super tired, so we missed our once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to date a Uruguayan. Oh well, life is full of disappointment.


The next day, we dined on medialunas (croissants but SO much better) y dulce de leche y jugo de naranja. I will state for the record that I have been known to choke on any pulp in orange juice and once created my own sieve a la McGuyver to filter the nasty-ass pulpy orange juice provided by some Sheraton or Radisson in Orlando. South America has changed my perspective on orange juice completely. They squeeze actual oranges here; even the OJ that comes in cardboard containers at the grocery store far surpasses any "Florida Natural" at Safeway. I fear I will never be able to drink orange juice again unless I plant an orange tree in my yard and press those things myself.

But I digress, after breakfast we walked around town snapping pictures and buying gifts, then headed to the lighthouse. If you look very closely, I'm the red dot on top. The lighthouse was built on the ruins of an old convent that was destroyed during some war in Colonia. It seems that everyone has taken over Uruguay at some point - Spain, Portugal, France, even the US (though I have no idea when or why).



From the top of the lighthouse you can see all of Colonia, which is is about 60 square blocks. It was fun to say "we are going across town" when it really would take you three minutes to walk there.

Back on the ground, Amy was missing home. I don't think she regularly kisses cacti in Arizona, but this one made her long for home.

Knowing that it is 110 degrees in Arizona, I only longed for carne and a good beer. Well the carne was taken care of at a nearby parilla. I had beer, but would I say it was "good?" It wasn't awful, but truly is Uruguay known for it's beer? I think not. Amy and I got a pile of meat, some salads, some grilled cheese (quite literally, not with bread and tomato soup), what can only be described as fried mashed potato balls (oh so delicious, I'm going to figure out how to make them), and flan with dulce de leche for approximately $20 USD. Carnivores - ready to move to South America yet?

After stuffing ourselves senseless, we got our bags at the B&B and walked back to the boat terminal.


Back at the terminal we noticed a sign about dengue fever. We even got dengue fever stamps when we sent postcards. They look just like this sign. Strange but true.

We got back to Buenos Aires safe and sound and we are four passport stamps richer.